Falling Trees
by FieryStars
Summary: Sherlock decides it's time to tell John he is not dead... via text message. Hilarity ensues. One-shot. No slash.


**My first story. This was written in August of 2013, hence the differences to season three. Not to mention the surprising similarities! If you like it, favorite, and then review! Thank you for reading!**

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Sherlock: John, it's me. I'm still alive. -SH

John: WHAT?

John: Who is this?

John: How did you find that phone?

John: ?

John: Sherlock?

Sherlock: John?

John: ?!

Sherlock: Is that you?

John: Yes it's me! Who do you think you're texting?

John: Sherlock! Is that really you?

Sherlock: Really? I wasn't sure...whom am I kidding I knew I was sure. Of course it's me, John.

John: Oh my goodness,

John: Oh my goodness.

Sherlock: John? Hang in there. I'm doing everything in my power...

John: Oh my goodness.

John: Hahaha.

John: You have got to be kidding me.

John: You left me here… for months…

John: With no word!

John: I cried by your GRAVE!

Sherlock: John... I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry...

John: I thought you were dead, no, no, "SORRY" isn't enough

Sherlock: I had to do it, all right? It was the only way...

John: Only way?!

John: To jump off a roof? How did you survive?

John: What happened?

John: Why did you do that?

Sherlock: Moriarty had snipers on you. If they didn't see me jump they would shoot. Moriarty had the call off word but he killed himself before I could make him tell me.

John: You could have told me, a simple text!

John: Like Irene, "I'm still alive," or "I'm not dead," anything!

John: Yet you left me!

John: I still can't get my head around the fact that I'm talking to you right now

Sherlock: John, you think I wouldn't have texted you if I could have?

John: Why couldn't you?

John: There must have been some way to...

John: Maybe through Mycroft, anything…

Sherlock: Moriarty's organization tapped into my old phone and every other phone in London just to make sure I was dead.

John: How are you texting now? Where are you?!

John: I'm coming, wherever you are

John: Where are you?

Sherlock: They have stopped so this isn't being tapped...

John: Are you even in England?

Sherlock: John, I'm sorry. I can't see you.

John: Why not

John: ?

Sherlock: He's most likely still hanging around you. Please just watch out. Please, don't do anything rash. I'll be back as soon as I can.

John: No, I have to see you, you're going to come back.

John: As soon as you can?

John: When?

Sherlock: As soon as I can. I can't be sure, in a little while when he's sure to have given up, confirmed I was dead.

John: Sherlock, how are you alive? I saw your body. You were dead!

John: How do I know this isn't just an imposter, messing with my head?

Sherlock: I'm a genius! It was complicated, of course...

John: It was all over the news…

Sherlock: Exactly why I can't be seen by anyone yet.

Sherlock: It's why I'm not there, John.

John: Mycroft doesn't know?

Sherlock: No, everyone presumes I'm dead,

Sherlock: Except you. I'm glad one person knows the truth.

John: I wish I could have been sure before now

John: about you not being dead.

Sherlock: IM SORRY ALL RIGHT? IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP YOU SAFE, OKAY?

John: I've missed you terribly. I'm so sorry.

Sherlock: I've messed up your life far too much. I thought you'd be glad I was gone, the sadistic psychopath, out of your life.

John: Sherlock, how could you think that? I have never called you a sadistic psychopath, and I am not about to start now.

John: You don't realize how much I hurt when you were just… gone.

Sherlock: John, I may be able to tell everything about the life of one person with a glance, but I'm no mind reader.

Sherlock: I didn't know what you thought.

John: You mean so much to me. I was alone, and then you came…

John: I was so alone.

Sherlock: John, I'm going to start crying in a minute...

John: I am already.

John: I want to see you very soon.

Sherlock: I'm sorry for everything. Every wrong I've ever done to you in the time we've known each other. And I'm sorry for leaving you. I miss you so much, and I'll get back there when I can.

Sherlock: I'd say... Two months at the latest.

John: You better, how about I forgive you when you come back? That may give you incentive.

John: :)

Sherlock: I don't know how you can forgive me at this point, but I'd very much appreciate that.

John: Of course I will forgive you. You're my best friend, and I'm really worried about you.

John: I don't want you to get hurt.

John: Please be safe.

Sherlock: I've never had actual friends, but I think you're my best friend as well, John. I'll stay safe, as long as you do, all right?

John: I will try. And yes you do have friends, what about Mrs. Hudson? Lestrade?

John: Even Molly Hooper cares about you

Sherlock: I guess you could consider them. But, they're not the same. Not like you.

John: Well, you can always depend on your enemies then, or perhaps your archenemy.

Sherlock: Yeah... I know...

John: Mycroft needs to know, Sherlock.

John: He needs to hear from you.

John: From what I've seen of him, he's torn up, I can tell.

Sherlock: Even though he is my archenemy, he is my brother, and it would be putting him in danger as well.

John: Well that means you're putting me in danger, so why not talk to Mycroft as well?

John: I think he should hear from you that you're alive, not me.

Sherlock: John, this phone isn't being tapped. Checked it. I'd never purposely put you in danger.

John: Well, thank you.

Sherlock: Especially so much danger...

John: How much exactly?

Sherlock: I'll consider talking to Mycroft.

Sherlock: But you know you can't tell anyone of this conversation, right?

John: I figured as much.

Sherlock: Not Mrs. Hudson, not Lestrade, not even Mycroft.

John: Yes, I would be risking our lives if I did, I understand…

Sherlock: Be careful. Like I said before, he's probably still hanging around. Delete these messages the second I'm done talking to you, okay?

John: All right. But then, how will I know I didn't just dream this if I have no proof of it later?

Sherlock: Write something down on a notecard, I don't know.

John: I know, I know… I'm just really emotionally drained now

John: I still cannot believe you're alive.

Sherlock: Well I am John.

Sherlock: So believe it.

John: Now I'm just standing here, smiling like an idiot.

Sherlock: Don't worry about it.

Sherlock: I am too.

John: I thought you were going to say, "That's because you are an idiot"

Sherlock: Well, that is true, but I didn't want to make you feel worse at the moment.

John: You couldn't possibly be getting sentimental right now, are you?

Sherlock: Oh, shut up John.

John: :)

Sherlock: I don't get sentimental.

Sherlock: ...usually.

John: You do, because you're human.

Sherlock: So it seems.

Sherlock: Human emotions.

John: Mind over matter? Is that your motto?

Sherlock: Basically.

John: I've really missed you, seriously, Sherlock.

John: Everyone has.

Sherlock: I have as well, John. I'm sorry, sorry beyond comprehension for once in my life, for what I've caused you.

Sherlock: I feel so selfish...

John: No, no. It was the right thing to do.

John: You saved my life.

John: You were doing the opposite of selfish.

Sherlock: I guess, but how many times have I endangered it? More than twenty, I'd presume.

John: Umm, including the time you pointed the gun at my head, I would say twenty-six now

Sherlock: Oh, yes… dearly sorry about that.

John: Oh, no offense taken… signed, your hostage.

Sherlock: Haha. Reminiscing over the old days, always fun.

John: I would call reminiscing being sentimental, wouldn't you, Sherlock?

Sherlock: Um…No.

Sherlock: Like I said, I don't get sentimental.

John: Hmm.

Sherlock: Though I do get bored.

John: And like I said, you are human.

John: You need to come back soon. Mrs. Hudson's wall needs to be shot at.

John: It has it coming. I almost feel like getting out my own gun and doing it myself.

Sherlock: I've been shooting a tree where I am, though it's not the same.

John: No, it's not is it? I bet you weren't doing it at three in the morning either, were you?

Sherlock: Actually, I was. Tried to make it the same, but it just isn't.

Sherlock: You're still in 221B right?

John: Yes. I didn't even move most of you stuff.

John: I'm not sure why.

Sherlock: Ah, brilliant. Definitely not going to be the same when I come back, but well need to go on an immediate mission.

John: Mission? Where?

Sherlock: What do you think? To kill the organization that's after me. Or was.

Sherlock: Once they're indisposed, we can announce I'm alive.

John: Well, why don't we just do that now? Why do you have to wait to come back so we can go?

Sherlock: John I feel like I've already explained this but I'll try again.

John: He won't be able to kill us or anyone else if we get to him first.

Sherlock: Kind of like Mycroft, the sly devils...

Sherlock: Then when their guard is down we strike.

Sherlock: Just don't bring your date this time.

John: I haven't dated.

John: Not since you… well, left

John: I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Sherlock: John, you can't just shut yourself in like that.

John: No one else needed all those terrible emotions inside me

Sherlock: You need to get out, to forget the past. I'm coming home. That's all that matters now.

Sherlock: If you've been staying in, you better not be fat when I return!

John: I am not fat!

Sherlock: Better not be.

John: I'm a doctor. I know how to eat healthy.

John: You know what I eat

Sherlock: I don't need an overweight blogger.

John: Well I don't need an injured friend, so be careful!

Sherlock: Haha, I will indeed.

John: You better. I know you like to take risks, but now really isn't the time.

Sherlock: John, not taking risks is boring!

Sherlock: Where's all he excitement in staying safe?

John: Then be bored! At least until I see you again!

Sherlock: But being bored in boring.

John: Deal with it. You are going to see me again.

Sherlock: Fine. I'll play it like normal people do, safe.

John: Thank you.

Sherlock: The most interesting thing I've done today is climb to the top of a tree.

John: The one you shot?

Stranger: ...yes.

John: You know, depending on how many times you shot it, it could collapse. Are you still in it?!

Sherlock: Yes.

Sherlock: I'm not going to sit on the ground!

John: Sherlock. That's not "playing it safe".

Sherlock: It's fine, honestly.

Sherlock: It's only like...twenty feet up.

John: You're in a tree that could collapse at any moment, twenty feet from the ground!

Sherlock: Your point is?

John: Sherlock. You could get injured, a broken collarbone, a few ribs…

Sherlock: Yet again...your point is?

John: I want to see you in one piece!

Sherlock: Oh I'll be fine.

Sherlock: I'm a genius remember?

John: Now I'm just worried about you.

Sherlock: It's perfectly stable!kebashsj/&82$7jehzhsjsjajsiowan

John: SHERLOCK?!

Sherlock: ...the tree fell.

John: Sherlock!

John: Is anything broken?

Sherlock: Oh calm down, I'm fine. Sprained ankle, probably, but that's it.

Sherlock: Nothing that can't be fixed.

John: Yes, come to Baker Street and I'll fix it. Then we can go after the murderer.

Sherlock: John, you know what I said.

John: :(

Sherlock: I'm not coming back until the coast is clear.

John: I know, I know

Sherlock: I'm sorry

Sherlock: Now I'm shooting another tree though.

John: I hope it falls on you, now you're just being mean to me.

Sherlock: Well that wasn't very nice, John, was it?

John: It wasn't meant to be, I'm worried sick, what with you shooting trees. Not to mention there are people after you.

Sherlock: They are in London! I'm nowhere near Baker Street.

Sherlock: Besides the tree won't fall.

John: I'm not worried about myself. I'll be fine.

John: The tree very well could fall.

Sherlock: The tree isushwhytwbxjsjshsnxjskshsowp38$je8jak..8isjsn

John: SHERLOCK!

John: If you are dead from a tree falling, I will just…

John: Sherlock?

Sherlock: Just kidding! Calm down John.

Sherlock: Geez.

John: It didn't fall?

Sherlock: No.

John: Sherlock, a minute ago you were actually concerned with my emotional state.

Sherlock: You said I hope it falls on you. So that's what I pretended it did.

John: I didn't mean that, and you know it.

Sherlock: Well now I'm just messing with you, my friend.

John: You're messing with me all right.

John: I was so scared there for a minute

Sherlock: Oh.

Sherlock: Sorry.

John: I should just kill you myself when I see you

Sherlock: Eh. Wouldn't be the first time someone's considered it.

John: I've had bad days!

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**That is the end. If you would like to hear more stories from me, follow me! I'll be sure to upload more :)**


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